Буддийские историиБаатар Явагч Их Хөлгөн СударМахавира Бурхны АмьдралRetreat in Hungary Feb 23 - Mar 7, 2005Blessings: Master Meets with Disciples, CompilationMaster Tells Jokes
Баяр баясалтай амьдар, лекцийн 7-ын 5-р хэсгийг31:53Баяр баясалтай амьдар, лекцийн 7-ын 5-р хэсгийгAn American, a Scottish, and a Canadian were killed in a car accident, sorry. They arrived at the Pearly gate. Saint Peter explained that there had been a mistake. “Give me $500 each,” he said, “and I will return you to Earth as if the whole thing never happened.” Why 500? Probably for the paperwork, right? Office expense. So, the American said, “Done.” And instantly he found himself standing unhuБагш шавийн шүтэлцээ2026-04-20 298 Үзсэн132026-04-20Багш шавийн шүтэлцээ Баяр баясалтай амьдар, лекцийн 7-ын 4-р хэсгийг30:38Баяр баясалтай амьдар, лекцийн 7-ын 4-р хэсгийгA wife asked her husband, “Why do you go out on the balcony when I sing?” “Don’t you like to hear me singing?” The husband said, “No, I want the neighbors to see that I’m outside. I’m not beating my wife up.”A man and his wife, both in their 60s, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day, a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each onБагш шавийн шүтэлцээ2026-04-19 881 Үзсэн382026-04-19Багш шавийн шүтэлцээ Баяр баясалтай амьдар, лекцийн 7-ын 3-р хэсгийг32:47Баяр баясалтай амьдар, лекцийн 7-ын 3-р хэсгийгThere was a vampire bat(-person) –the bat(-person) who takes blood, I guess – came flapping from the night, and he was all covered in fresh blood, and he landed himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. And soon, all the other bat(-people) smelled the blood and came and were hassling him about where he got it. He told them to bug off and let him get some sleep, but they would not leave hiБагш шавийн шүтэлцээ2026-04-18 1040 Үзсэн49Audio396p720p1080pPhoto2026-04-18Багш шавийн шүтэлцээ Баяр баясалтай амьдар, лекцийн 7-ын 2-р хэсгийг31:45Баяр баясалтай амьдар, лекцийн 7-ын 2-р хэсгийгCome on, this is just a house. Wow, I feel better. It’s better, huh? (Yes.) Now, we can laugh. I love those things too but just to make the SM Celestial Clothes happy, and the Supreme Master TV, and the photo department happy. Now. OK, you got it? The next one is… I think I’ve told this story already. I’m not sure. In case you heard it already, you just laugh a little bit. Or boo in the middle, soБагш шавийн шүтэлцээ2026-04-17 1293 Үзсэн63Audio396p720p1080pPhoto2026-04-17Багш шавийн шүтэлцээ Баяр баясалтай амьдар, лекцийн 7-ын 1-р хэсгийг41:05Баяр баясалтай амьдар, лекцийн 7-ын 1-р хэсгийгNew people? (Yes.) A lot of… English(-speaking)? (Yes.) OK. All the Westerners come here. All the English-speaking Westerners, the black, the white, the yellow, the red, the stripes. You come here. You’re good? You guys are going or coming? (Going.) Now? (9:00 to 9:30.) 9:30. Wow, you have two hours and a half. (Yes.) Ah, good, good enough, good enough, good enough. Yeah, yeah. Come in, come in, cБагш шавийн шүтэлцээ2026-04-16 1547 Үзсэн90Audio396p720p1080pPhoto2026-04-16Багш шавийн шүтэлцээ Гэгээрэлтэй хамт инээхүй, 8 цуврал лекцийн 8-р хэсгийг34:49Гэгээрэлтэй хамт инээхүй, 8 цуврал лекцийн 8-р хэсгийгThe school has just released the grades of the final exams. Mom asked, “Liza, I heard Rose next door got 99 points in math. What about you?” So, Liza said proudly, “I got one more point than her.” Mom was happy, “You got 100 points, girl?” Liza said, “No, I got 9.9.” Only 99 points, and this one, 9.9.A distinctive businessman, Jack, told his son one day, “I have selected a girl whom you are to marБагш шавийн шүтэлцээ2026-04-15 1616 Үзсэн72Audio396p720p1080pPhoto2026-04-15Багш шавийн шүтэлцээ Гэгээрэлтэй хамт инээхүй, 8 цуврал лекцийн 7-р хэсгийг33:49Гэгээрэлтэй хамт инээхүй, 8 цуврал лекцийн 7-р хэсгийгOne day, two schoolgirls went to the library to review lessons. Kate was helping Lily with the revision. “What’s the meaning of this word?” So, Lily scratched her head and said, “I forgot. Beats me (idiom for ‘I don’t know’).” So, Kate beat Lily and then told her the meaning of the word. A few days later, they went to the library together again. Kate asked Lily again the meaning of that word. LilyБагш шавийн шүтэлцээ2026-04-14 1993 Үзсэн73Audio396p720p1080pPhoto2026-04-14Багш шавийн шүтэлцээ Гэгээрэлтэй хамт инээхүй, 8 цуврал лекцийн 6-р хэсгийг29:50Гэгээрэлтэй хамт инээхүй, 8 цуврал лекцийн 6-р хэсгийгSonny said to Dad, “Dad, what is creeping inflation?” His father said, “Creeping inflation is when your mother starts out asking for new shoes and ends up with a complete new outfit.” Are there such families? They always complain about women’s spending. I don’t know, is it true? (Yes.) (It’s true.) (Sometimes.)A plane is about to take off. An airline hostess announces, “Ladies and gentlemen, pleasБагш шавийн шүтэлцээ2026-04-13 2068 Үзсэн70Audio396p720p1080pPhoto2026-04-13Багш шавийн шүтэлцээ Гэгээрэлтэй хамт инээхүй, 8 цуврал лекцийн 5-р хэсгийг32:39Гэгээрэлтэй хамт инээхүй, 8 цуврал лекцийн 5-р хэсгийгA recruiting ad for a French learning class says the following, “If you find you do not like this course and want to quit after the first class, you can request to refund your tuition, but you must say this in French.” Then you have to stay. Right? (Yes.) You understand? (Yes.)A teacher said to the students, “Why did you do so poorly on the exam?” Kitty, “The degrees of my glasses are not good enoБагш шавийн шүтэлцээ2026-04-12 2235 Үзсэн72Audio396p720p1080pPhoto2026-04-12Багш шавийн шүтэлцээ Гэгээрэлтэй хамт инээхүй, 8 цуврал лекцийн 4-р хэсгийг29:27Гэгээрэлтэй хамт инээхүй, 8 цуврал лекцийн 4-р хэсгийгThe teacher asked a student, “Why don’t you brush your teeth? I can see what you had for breakfast this morning.” The student said, “What did I have?” The teacher said, “Cornflakes.” So, the student said, “You are wrong. That was yesterday.”A little boy was praying in the church. “Oh, dear God, I have a small wish. Please move the capital to New York.” A priest nearby heard him and asked him, “WhyБагш шавийн шүтэлцээ2026-04-11 2454 Үзсэн79Audio396p720p1080pPhoto2026-04-11Багш шавийн шүтэлцээ Гэгээрэлтэй хамт инээхүй, 8 цуврал лекцийн 3-р хэсгийг33:11Гэгээрэлтэй хамт инээхүй, 8 цуврал лекцийн 3-р хэсгийгDaddy number one says, “I always stress to my kids that there must be three -sions for success: Mission, passion and vision.” OK. So, dad number two: “And the outcome?” Dad number one says again, “Alas, there is only one television in their hearts.” Kids! Only one “-sion” in their hearts, that’s television. I hope it is the Supreme Master Television.This one is really bad, even though it’s a privaБагш шавийн шүтэлцээ2026-04-10 2399 Үзсэн78Audio396p720p1080pPhoto2026-04-10Багш шавийн шүтэлцээ Гэгээрэлтэй хамт инээхүй, 8 цуврал лекцийн 2-р хэсгийг32:15Гэгээрэлтэй хамт инээхүй, 8 цуврал лекцийн 2-р хэсгийгLittle Johnny said, “Daddy, I want to ask you a question.” After a first day in Sunday school. So Daddy said, “OK.” And little Johnny said, “Oh, the teacher was reading the Bible to us, all about the children of Israel building this temple and the children of Israel crossing the Red Sea. The children of Israel do this, do that. What have all the adults been doing?” It’s true, huh? They do nothing,Багш шавийн шүтэлцээ2026-04-09 2700 Үзсэн82Audio396p720p1080pPhoto2026-04-09Багш шавийн шүтэлцээ Гэгээрэлтэй хамт инээхүй, 8 цуврал лекцийн 1-р хэсгийг38:41Гэгээрэлтэй хамт инээхүй, 8 цуврал лекцийн 1-р хэсгийг(Going home.) What time? (Yes, I’m going home in two hours.) (I’m going home alone tomorrow.) Are you both going home? (No.) (Just him alone.) (My mom and I.) Just pointing at this and that. Aren’t you two going home to the same house? (No.) Why do you two look so alike, like brothers? (It was in a past life.) (In a past life.) In a past life, in a past life. Hey! You’re all going home, leaving meБагш шавийн шүтэлцээ2026-04-08 3039 Үзсэн103Audio396p720p1080pPhoto2026-04-08Багш шавийн шүтэлцээ Хувилгаан дүрүүд болон Асурын биесийн ялгаа, хэмээх 10 цуврал лекцийн 10-р хэсгийг34:59Хувилгаан дүрүүд болон Асурын биесийн ялгаа, хэмээх 10 цуврал лекцийн 10-р хэсгийгI’m just too sensitive. When I went up to take a bath and change my clothes, I felt very ashamed. Why do I have so much discrimination in my mind? But I could not bear it. So I bowed fully, from head to toe. Not really bowing; what I meant is I apologized to them, saying: “I’m sorry. I respect you very much, I just couldn’t bear it.” Then I went to take a bath. For fear that their souls would smelБагш шавийн шүтэлцээ2026-04-07 2611 Үзсэн73Audio396p720p1080pPhoto2026-04-07Багш шавийн шүтэлцээ Хувилгаан дүрүүд болон Асурын биесийн ялгаа, хэмээх 10 цуврал лекцийн 9-р хэсгийг35:38Хувилгаан дүрүүд болон Асурын биесийн ялгаа, хэмээх 10 цуврал лекцийн 9-р хэсгийгOh dear, we laughed too much! Laughing too much will make you shed tears. Humans are so weird. Whether they’re in the most painful state or the most… (Happy.) happy, their facial expressions look pretty much the same – with tears streaming down their faces. Our brains are a bit ignorant. When they perceive our excitement, whether it is excitement from regret, or excitement from happiness, they stiБагш шавийн шүтэлцээ2026-04-06 2611 Үзсэн77Audio396p720p1080pPhoto2026-04-06Багш шавийн шүтэлцээ Хувилгаан дүрүүд болон Асурын биесийн ялгаа, хэмээх 10 цуврал лекцийн 8-р хэсгийг37:57Хувилгаан дүрүүд болон Асурын биесийн ялгаа, хэмээх 10 цуврал лекцийн 8-р хэсгийг(If we think more deeply, how profound was Milarepa’s faith in His Master, and to what extent? Should you encounter such kind of Master, I can tell you, by the second test, You all would have run off.) (One moment He could get drunk, and another He could deny what He said, and even His wife didn’t believe Him. How could we ever believe in such a Master? But then…) Wonderful, wonderful. It would beБагш шавийн шүтэлцээ2026-04-05 2689 Үзсэн85Audio396p720p1080pPhoto2026-04-05Багш шавийн шүтэлцээ Хувилгаан дүрүүд болон Асурын биесийн ялгаа, хэмээх 10 цуврал лекцийн 7-р хэсгийг33:25Хувилгаан дүрүүд болон Асурын биесийн ялгаа, хэмээх 10 цуврал лекцийн 7-р хэсгийгIt’s fine to talk, it’s fine. It’s also fine for you to talk. (They don’t like to hear me talk; they like to listen to You.) I’m not prepared to give a lecture here. Now there is no topic. Tong, do you have a topic? Just say anything. Ah! You must talk. Drag him into this. Right. He is always near me. How nice. Just say something. (Nothing. There is no sound.) There is, there are other mics. ThereБагш шавийн шүтэлцээ2026-04-04 2741 Үзсэн79Audio396p720p1080pPhoto2026-04-04Багш шавийн шүтэлцээ Хувилгаан дүрүүд болон Асурын биесийн ялгаа, хэмээх 10 цуврал лекцийн 6-р хэсгийг36:26Хувилгаан дүрүүд болон Асурын биесийн ялгаа, хэмээх 10 цуврал лекцийн 6-р хэсгийгAfter that, the servant continued to say, “Do you know? Our female lama there, oh, she is terrific! Sometime ago, some people stole her things. She simply looked into a bowl with just water inside, and from looking into the water she knew who the thief was and where the stolen things were. Then she told people to arrest him.” After hearing that, the two men dared not say more. Good, the matter wasБагш шавийн шүтэлцээ2026-04-03 2894 Үзсэн85Audio396p720p1080pPhoto2026-04-03Багш шавийн шүтэлцээ Хувилгаан дүрүүд болон Асурын биесийн ялгаа, хэмээх 10 цуврал лекцийн 5-р хэсгийг34:48Хувилгаан дүрүүд болон Асурын биесийн ялгаа, хэмээх 10 цуврал лекцийн 5-р хэсгийгHave you ever read “The Little Prince?” (Yes.) It’s a very good book. What’s so good about it? It is very noble, very pure and clean, not forcing anything on anyone. But in the book, there’re lots of substances. For example, the little prince… On his own small planet there is a tree. He says there is a kind of tree. He says that kind of tree has to be uprooted at sight. Yes? (Yes.) If you don’t erБагш шавийн шүтэлцээ2026-04-02 3097 Үзсэн101Audio396p720p1080pPhoto2026-04-02Багш шавийн шүтэлцээ Хувилгаан дүрүүд болон Асурын биесийн ялгаа, хэмээх 10 цуврал лекцийн 4-р хэсгийг34:23Хувилгаан дүрүүд болон Асурын биесийн ялгаа, хэмээх 10 цуврал лекцийн 4-р хэсгийгFor some people who practice black magic or white magic, after they die, they still linger around, still stranded, staying around that kind of… We can say that it’s the state of “having nowhere to go,” not belonging to any place. Or, in Esoteric Buddhism, we call it “the intermediate state.” After one dies, he doesn’t belong to this world, but he also does not belong to another world yet. Not beloБагш шавийн шүтэлцээ2026-04-01 3251 Үзсэн109Audio396p720p1080pPhoto2026-04-01Багш шавийн шүтэлцээ